Round 14 Lions v Saints - Complexities of Product (Day 1)

The radar is clear but the air is heavy with impending and annoying moisture. The southbound drive, a direct route from the domestic abode down Punt Road, is greeted by that strange sense of grey normally reserved for Melbourne in May.

Curator at the Junction seems to have a misguided view of conditions as we stand in the middle, wicket uncovered, stumps inserted (it is 9.40am) and the drizzle is starting to become rain. Eventually logic kicks in and the covers are applied.

Warm up is confined to indoors, the rooms spacious enough but when Lions use floor space in a prone position, even with Moose locked to the bench face down, things do get crowded. Check with umpires and delay until post lunch is obvious, check the radar with nothing of serious disruption apparent, but also no wind to lift. Back in the chariot and traverse along Punt Road to the Planet, incoming call from Kitchen Man to advise the 3rd XI play is abandoned for the day. Maybe not a bad outcome here as it gives Fireman another week to repair the rig.

Jester has inserted a weakened foe and true to form in the gloom, we are being whacked all over, the ball soggy and damp. The darkened leather becoming useless until the magician arrives to help - ShamWow. The domestic cleaning cloth, hygienic heaven to housebound goddess types in outer Berwick Springs now has a new application. Cricket ball love and kindness. No sooner had the ShamWow been brought into action, The Pirate found the missile moving in all directions prompting The Badge to ride his horse back into town.

DKP squad batting first against the top side, usual trouble with a muddled start but in conditions at the top end of the complexity scale, Product decides that it is well and truly time to put away the sook face and give us a maestro like performance. Wielding the willow like an Uzi, he pummels the attack to all sections of the lower planet with Vardichin continuing his competitive return giving support. Product becomes the latest addition to the Lions centurion list, causing bewilderment amongst the judgement executive as to where has this been. Donuts in the car park with teary eyes do not appear in the preparation manual.

Flegwart and Fearsome do their best with opposite spin techniques to suffocate the scoring. This rotating pressure allows Pirate and Myo Kimbo to reduce the likelihood of a large target, Pirate now progressing beyond thirty poles for the season again. Chariot launched again for the Junction return with the Lions inserted and an attitude of strangeness permeates the situation. None of the Lions can make an innings of substance, all getting to a promising stage with balls faced, time consumed and runs mounting but all fall victim to the temptress of balls with width.

The experienced Saints attack, almost military like in cohesion, continue to exploit helpful bounce at the inviting length to induce nicks. We oblige, they catch, we are out and a chase of languidness is the offering. Hardly befitting of two teams at the upper end. Loke Patton, we shall return.